This coming May, we will mark our third nomadiversary of being on the road together.
Over the past three years we have vastly simplified our lives. We have experimented with, refined, and tweaked our little RV into our ideal travel vessel. We have become skilled at off-grid living. We have learned to set a travel pace that balances mobility and stability. We have become proficient at social media and networking that leads us to constantly being blessed in meeting amazing, inspiring people. We’ve learned to live a life rich in experience for little financial cost. And we have become masters at inviting serendipity into our lives.
We set out to create a lifestyle of full time mobility that felt long term sustainable. One that could last until we no longer felt called to it.
We have been successful at accomplishing this goal.
Except for one problem that is creeping in.
Our current lifestyle has grown too easy.
Both Chris and I identify as adventurous folks. People who sell their houses and physical belongings by choice to live a life on the road tend to be. We view challenges as energizing things to creatively overcome. Our problem these days is a lack of new challenges. Things that 3 years ago were new and challenging are now common everyday experiences.
In some ways, our current lifestyle is becoming just as mundane feeling as living in the suburbs in Florida had become for me before. As unlikely as it sounds, in some ways we feel we’re running the risk of slipping into a rut.
When meeting new people, sharing our story has become more like turning on a recording – we know the questions people will ask, we know the highlights that cause the ‘oohhs’ and ‘awwws’, we know which photographs to show that invite more questions. It’s still exciting to see people’s eye’s light up as we describe the last few years of our lives, and we love the experience of sharing and inspiring and building connections. But the conversations rarely have much chance to go deeper, and it seems that we’re always replaying the same annecdotes around how we met, where we’ve been, and where we are going next…
We crave new challenges, new experiences, we crave deeper interactions.
We’re both feeling it. A big part of our recent research into a live aboard sailing has been fueled by this quest.
But – How Much Challenge is Enough?
The more we dive into researching living on the water, the bigger the challenge ahead seems.
- There’s a high entry price (especially since we both are gravitating towards catamarans rather than monohulls). To afford buying a boat without racking up debt means we will need to ramp up new income streams to fund it.
- There’s much more maintenance and upkeep involved – meaning we both need to develop new handyman skillsets, and yet more income streams to have money to throw into our hole in the water.
- There’s the sailing itself – which will be a learning process all of its own.
- And my own personal obstacle – my tendency towards sea sickness that I will have to overcome.
Balancing Responses to Challenge
We both agree the challenges of embracing full time sailing are huge, and vastly different than the RV’ing life we know and have become comfortable with. And in exploring this, Chris and I are discovering just how differently we respond to the increasing challenge.
Chris is responding to the research projects and learning curves with exponentially increasing motivation and enthusiasm as the challenges ahead increase. Whereas I’m responding to the challenges growing with a feeling that the goal might be unreachable, and is thus de-motivating me.
He is dreaming of conquering oceans and tropical cocktails, and the vision in my head is of working 40-60 hour weeks to afford a boat, and then spending my remaining off-time seasick and buried in frustrating maintenance projects.
Needless to say, my enthusiasm has been dropping.
We’re not sure how we’ll proceed with the sailing idea, other than not rushing out to sea until we figure out ways to balance meeting our individual needs.
But we also need to avoid falling too deep into a rut in our current life.
Perhaps we need to find new challenges on a smaller scale to keep things interesting for us both.
Franis says
Had some experience living aboard (6 months) & in an RV – 10+ yrs, but I stayed in a limited area, mostly. When I got bored, it was effective to change the rate of travel. I slowed down; got out of the vehicles and changed my routine. Realized there were things that took more space to do and began to crave them. So I developed a seasonal lifestyle, which I now lead. Still come back to the RV lifestyle for a few months a year.
If you think about traveling in an RV when you have to carry your laptops with you, imagining carrying them in a dry bag. I live in Hawaii now, and people here designate a room in their house as the “Dry-Room.” Meaning that electronics in high humidity places freak out.
Since you’ve gotten really comfortable with USA travel, what about taking your your scene south of the border? There’s a whole ‘nother continent down there in South America when you make it past Mexico. Learning a language well enough to tell jokes in it kicks in a fun brain challenge. Guess the kitty would be a factor when you cross borders getting him back home, but you could figure out that one with some research.
As far as a life purpose, it’s really tempting when you feel solid as a couple to take on too much stress toward the breaking point. Careful with that, I’ve seen it break up couples who had a good thing going.
As people have been saying, being a sailor is a separate pastime than living aboard. Mostly because once you have all your eggs in one very expensive basket, you don’t really want to drop them. The ocean is a very unpredictable factor…much wilder than a road trip. I hated the unrelenting sun when I lived aboard. At least in an RV you can pull into the shade. Was so relieved when my captain secured a covered berth.
Various friends of mine solved these conflicting urges with interesting lifestyle mixes – One friend, who was a bit of a boat-person – warehouse artist – traveler, she bought an island with a house made out of an old railroad station with some phenomenal porches. It was across a channel; she got to boat to and from it twice a day when she came and went. The house on the island was furnished minimally so she didn’t have to be paranoid about being ripped off if someone poked around when she wasn’t there. The island house remained a sort of “primitive” camp-like place, she rarely even ran the generator for lights. She rented space in a warehouse across the river from her island where she did things that took space and electricity like a wood shop/making stained glass and running her own business making greeting cards, having a social scene with other artists, a fridge, a securely lockable space, etc. She joined a gym for a place to clean up, take a hot tub and exercise. When the friend who had an island got tired of a certain area, she found another waterway she wanted to explore next. It wasn’t difficult to set up a similar lifestyle in this other ecological area once she had come up with someone that worked for her the first time. Another friend solved her urge for sailing by having this cute little 18 ft. boat that was lots of fun to handle around the area that also included many unique waterways and a much larger bay. There was no risk to her possessions when she was taking her chances on the water… Then she traveled doing fairs to sell her goodies that she had made when she wanted to be a gypsy for awhile in her RV.
My point is that there are many unique lifestyles that can incorporate elements of whatever you have found to be the best parts of your RV – and maybe your boat-style living interests. Take the best parts and design a new life around these. Open up new opportunities around what you seem to be missing. Not going the “traditional” route will save you lots of money. Bigger or jumping in with both feet to sink or swim is not necessarily better.
My best move when delving into a new fascination was to befriend someone who was already doing it and hang out with them for extended periods. Like a mentor-apprenticeship thing.
Maybe the place you really want to live on a boat is not in the USA? The Netherlands has an interesting boat culture who ride the many calm waterways in (horse towed has become a tourist legend) barge-like live aboard floating homes with low risk; so I’ve heard from my traveling friends. Here’s a blog I found of this sort of thing in the UK: http://nblazydays.wordpress.com/2010/01/
Try reading books by Barbara Sher, one of the first career coaches. Here’s my island friend’s list of dreams, some of which already came true: http://is.gd/aHi8b
Anyway – can’t wait to hear more of your adventures! You make me homesick for my RV on the mainland…
.-= Franis ´s last blog ..Give and Take Collection =-.
Cherie Ve Ard says
Many thanks for so many fantastic ideas, Francis. I have no doubt that Chris and I will be able to mix things up in a way that is satisfying to us both.
Franis says
Hey, once you two figure out how to sail to Hawaii, be sure to look me up!
.-= Franis´s last blog ..Give and Take Collection =-.
Hal says
As a previous live aboard sailor, now contemplating full time rv life, I thought I would weigh in. I too developed the obsession to buy a big boat, move aboard and sail the islands or beyond. After sinking everything I had into a boat, then spending 6 months and a ton of cash working on it, I moved aboard. Here are some of my observations:
1. At the time I only a small amount of sailing experience on very small boats. Buying a 32 ft, 6 ton boat and expecting to leisurely sail around is the same thing as getting your drivers lic at 16 and buying a 40 ft diesel pusher.
2. Live aboard sailors rarely sail. Its a huge effort to secure all of your belongings to take a day sail in your home. A big boat is like a big RV, you only move it when you have to.
3. Your boat is never safe! (This was a big one for me) Well, maybe when it is out of the water in the yard, but anytime its floating, it is in danger and is also a hazard to others. You NEVER get to not think about it. If a storm is coming, you have to worry about your lines and ground tackle. You have to keep a constant eye on your chafe gear….it goes on and on.
4. Trying to lear to sail on a big boat is damn scary.
5. No one has any business crossing an ocean unless they REALLY know what they are doing, and that takes years. And more years. I know several people who were just doing the islands, and had to abandon their boats during storms. They were rescued, but it isnt always so pleasant.
Ultimately I sold the boat (and lost a ton of money) and moved down to a much smaller boat. If there was one thing I could have done differently, it would have been to buy a small 25 footer like a Cape Dory to learn on. I eventually did that and had a great time the following season. Then I moved up to a 27 ft Pacific Seacraft and had another great experience. The first experience nearly cured me of sailing, however, and I wouldnt wish it on anyone.
Smaller boats are easier to resell, so you could easily move your rv near the water, buy a small boat and have a great time learning and sailing short overnight trips. Then if you want to move up, you will know what you are doing. It really is the best way.
Good Luck either way.
Hal
Cherie Ve Ard says
Thank you so much for sharing, Hal. I most appreciate hearing from people who have been there.
One thing I’ve been noticing is how many live aboard sailors don’t actually sail for fun – and your comparison to moving large rigs around is meshing with my observations. So many RVers we encounter just reposition along the interstates. We take backroads, and integrate in scenic road tripping as part of our journey.. it’s not just about the places we stop. I’d like to say ‘we’d be different’ – but I really can’t without the experience, and the experience is a much larger elephant to tackle than RVing.
I’m also noticing just how much work there is in live aboard. For my personal perspective.. if I’m putting that much effort into something, I want to be towards bettering the world in some way. To me, live aboard sailing seems like a somewhat selfish pursuit, insulating one from being able to affect change on the world, and to be ready and able to help.
The problem is.. the more I learn about live aboard sailing, the more the reality doesn’t mesh with my fantasy. However, the more the challenge invigorates Chris.
Best wishes on your RVing pursuits. I can say with certainty.. it is a much more leisurely lifestyle 🙂
Hal says
Oh yes, I completely overlooked the endless hours of grinding away toxic antifouling paint, living with the odor of epoxy and diesel fuel…
All of that being said, my heart still races every time I see a traditional looking sailboat with a long bowsprit siting at anchor… I cant say I wont ever go back.
Good luck!
David says
Chris–Just as you gained experience first in the TAB, which allowed you to understand what was important in selecting the Oliver so successfully, I believe it would be a mistake to select a floating home without having more understanding of what is significant there. Making a mistake on a much larger scale can be exceedingly costly in many dimensions.
Thus, learn the various skills you will need and in the process understand what you will find valuable and what is not. Learn basic sailing skills, for example, and then you may seek to crew a boat that is short-handed. That kind of position might be for cash, or simply for experience–although your expenses are normally nil while doing so, as the owner typically covers food and other essentials.
Just as there are many products offered to RV people that are of dubious value, you will be amazed at the variety of “stuff” offered to boat people. Experience will teach you which things are wise investments and which are questionable at best. Thus, especially since you don’t have an unlimited budget, you would be wise to substitute a growing competence for the newcomer’s tendency to dive right in.
travelfables says
I know how you feel, I identify with much of this, including the interest in full time live-aboard sailing.
I’ve been looking into it for some time and have some information to tap, if I get around to making the opportunity happen.
Don’t know how to encourage ya however other than to share.
I’m not a fan of debt (hate it I had given it up), but I recently got back into it as I ran a-ground on the reefs of health-care in the USA., but have managed to fight out of it again.
As for the boat thing. There are tons of things I’m looking to learn as well, but here are some goodies:
1. “Chapman Piloting Seamanship & Small Boat Handling” is an tome full of know how.
2. yachtsalvage.com is a good place to start peeking around for your boat. I find deals there at times, but have yet to bite the bullet for a fixer upper.
3. I like the volunteer idea, one of my current ideas (as I like fun and silly Jimmy Buffett tunes) is to hook up with some of the various Parrot head clubs, they are always up to helping some cool charity, doing a beach cleanup or something and are just plain fun people.
4. Other ideas: (how about starting some amateur radio stuff (another idea I might do), plays right into the boat thing a-bit too,)
—
Anyway happy adventures and good luck,
Dale
.-= travelfables´s last blog ..Adventures in New Orleans and the French Quarter: =-.
Chris Dunphy says
Hi Dale —
Thanks for the pointer to yachtsalvage.com – I hadn’t seen that site before.
We got our HAM licenses last year, but haven’t picked out any gear to buy yet. But that is something we intend to explore.
Thanks for the great comments!
– Chris
travelfables says
There is also,
http://www.boatquest.com/laniermarine/
These guys are located in Dawsonville, GA just the next town over from my old-stompin’ grounds (my home-town of Dahlonega)
.-= travelfables´s last blog ..Adventures in New Orleans and the French Quarter: =-.
Japhy says
Well duh. I just looked up what Doves do, and it looks like you already got that covered! haha
.-= Japhy´s last blog ..Well, one of these days =-.
David says
Apparently your blog software eliminated the link I put in the comment…I have included it here in the “website” field for your information.
David
David says
Cherie–There’s an old question about how one eats an elephant–with the answer being “one bite at a time.” The move to suddenly take on a life on a sailboat requiring entirely new skills–and where inexperience can actually kill you–is a rather drastic change.
What about doing it a step at a time? Perhaps get a small sailboat to learn the sailing part with–which can be done on lakes and rivers, obviously. You might even get a folding boat with a small sail rig that you could mount on your truck camper for the coming months while you learn. Something like the Porta-Bote with lateen sail rig–the boat folds down to 4″ thick, and is incredibly safe as well–unsinkable, as a matter of fact. See
Another option might be to do a houseboat of some sort to use on the Mississippi, the St. Lawrence, or the Atlantic coastal waterway.
Meanwhile, you could take classes in skills such as navigation and the various other things you would need to know to be sure you are ready for such a departure from your current reality.
I fully understand the attraction of sailboats, and especially of multihulls–but when I was contemplating it, I developed some health complications that made it impossible. However, sometimes one’s enthusiasm can make a rose-tinted haze over the realities. Approaching the situation a piece at a time gives you plenty of time to both be knowledgeable and comfortable with your choices.
Good luck!
Cherie Ve Ard says
Thanks for these awesome suggestions. My personal way of approaching these things is indeed a step at a time. If I were doing this on my own, I’d probably go take sailing lessons, perhaps charter a sailboat for a while, join friends with sailboats in our travels, etc. – until I built up my confidence.
Chris however is a bit different, and prefers to eat the whole elephant at once while wearing his rose colored glasses 🙂 And that is the crux of our current need for balance. We both agree on the end goal.. but need to find the route there.
Chris Dunphy says
Indeed… I am much more of an “all at once” person, even when it comes to eating elephants.
I am more charged up and motivated when I dive in deep to something than when I take it a step at a time.
Finding ways to satisfy us both will be the key…
Japhy says
As I’ve been winding down my law practice it’s really hit home that the one thing, perhaps the only thing, I appreciate about my career is having the opportunity to make a profound contribution to improving the live’s of others. So part of “my challenge” is to build a life that fulfills my own desires and needs and satisfies my need for adventure, but that also allows me to use my skills to to help others. What I’ve found is that finding ways to adapt to life challenges…that’s fine. But the most rewarding thing, and the most challenging, is finding creative ways to make the world a better place. I tend to think that the desire to help others is something all humans innately have. So reading this I wonder, could it be that you might find fulfillment and meaning in areas not associated with maintaining a certain type of lifestyle?
.-= Japhy´s last blog ..Well, one of these days =-.
Cherie Ve Ard says
This is a great idea, Japhy.. and something I have contemplated quite a bit. I’m very driven to integrate in rewarding work and/or volunteer work into the travels. And we are currently intending to join the Escapees DOVE chapter of Red Cross and get trained up.
This is another one of those differing motivations tho… for me, pursuing more volunteer work would give me the challenge in my life I crave. Chris is not convinced it would scratch that itch for him.
Japhy says
Maybe if it integrated aspects of adventure into the charitable works? For instance, training for disaster relief which would mean going to disaster stricken areas of the world and helping out. To me that’s exactly the sort of thing that would be adventurous but also rewarding. My wife is in the medical profession so we are considering doing that sort of thing (Doctors without borders, Haiti, etc). Of course, I have no relevant skills at all so I’d be about worthless. So what I decided was I’m taking a month once we figure out our plan and taking a Wilderness EMT class that certifies you as an EMT and trains you for special nonurban care situations. Maybe getting some sort of specialized training and helping out all over the world would be a good fit for you? Something like the Burners Without Borders program?
Just thoughts I’m throwing out there. If it’s not a good fit it’s not a good fit. You guys are way more creative at finding solutions than I am so I’m sure you’ll figure it out. 🙂
.-= Japhy´s last blog ..Well, one of these days =-.
Cherie Ve Ard says
We have integrated in volunteer work in the past – such as stepping in to run an Obama campaign office in rural Nevada in 2008. Something we both find highly rewarding and challenging. For me personally.. integrating in more of these sort of new challenging experiences would definitely meet my challenge needs. And I totally agree, it doesn’t having to find even more challenging ways to live mobiley.
Now, I just have to convince Chris of this 😉
Lew Johns says
Cherie,
You need to understand that seasickness canNOT be “overcome”. Jan is subject to it (a rowboat will do it, or even the WDW Ferry), as well as to extreme illness from anesthesia. The two are one-and-the-same. Motion sickness is the correct term. Something about the inner ear. Drugs will only hold it in temporary abeyance. Research it before it becomes a Heart-Breaker. BTW, that is why some Furballs are “travelers” and others….can never be. A dog or cat who Howls continuously and becomes Barfy/poopy is having Motion sickness.
Lew
.-= Lew Johns´s last blog ..Marco gets a New Bathroom =-.
Cherie Ve Ard says
Thanks for the advice. I’ve actually had motion sickness my entire life – and it used to be pretty severe, but I have worked to overcome it in many areas. Once I learned to drive, I no longer experience car sickness. I learned to pilot a plane – now I no longer get air sick.
Thus far, the only time I’ve had sea sickness has actually been between tank changes while SCUBA diving, when the boat is in swells.. and I’m exhausted, feeling heavier from gravity, diesel fumes are lingering and trying to get reassembled for the next dive. The times I have been aboard boats without these circumstances (including training to race Hobie Cats), I’ve actually not experienced much sea sickness at all.
Louise says
Lew, I don’t believe this is strictly true. Before we moved aboard our RV, our little dog Opal suffered some truly epic car sickness. You haven’t really lived until your dog has snacked in the cat litter box, then puked the results in the back of an SUV on a hot summer day on a road with absolutely no safe place to pull over. Yes, it was just as gross as you are imagining…
Our vet prescribed anti-emetics and they must have been some REALLY good drugs, because Opal would do all her tricks for a chance for one of those happy pills!
After about 3 or 4 long car trips on the pills, Opal was cured of motion sickness. We weaned her off of them and she was fine after that. She’s since logged over 110,000 miles.
.-= Louise´s last blog ..LA avoidance technique =-.
Louise says
I hear you completely. Our life also feels dull at times. Finding a free place to spend the night in an area we’ve never been to before? Yawn, easy-peasy. Staying connected, takin’ care of business while rejecting the status quo? Uh-huh. Next. Living on the edge of normal? BTDT, don’t take the free t-shirt anymore.
The whole boat thing is both exciting and overwhelming to me, too. I have ZERO experience on the water. I worry about bad fuel, shallow water, pirates! What saves me from moments of panic and dread is taking a few moments to really understand how unusual that first paragraph is. It takes a very special type of person to find the new and love it, stretch the limits, and live the new normal. The very fact that we are getting a bit complacent about our (extremely weird) lives shows show flexible we really are. And that is the key to continued success in conquering the difficult! You WILL overcome seasickness and become a proud expert in boat maintenance. I WILL learn to read water depths and drain the fuel filters like a pro.
You, me and Rosie the Riveter: We Can Do It! 🙂
.-= Louise´s last blog ..LA avoidance technique =-.
Cherie Ve Ard says
Have I mentioned lately how awesome you are, Louise? 🙂
Louise says
We’re here to support each other’s dreams, right? Next time I’m having boat nightmares, you can send me a “you go girl” message. 🙂
.-= Louise´s last blog ..LA avoidance technique =-.
Kelly says
Interesting, do you follow About Us? Sean and Louise the bus folks?
they are in the process of doing this.
Cheers,
Kelly
Cherie Ve Ard says
Hi Kelly.. yes indeed.. we not only follow Sean and Louise – we consider them awesome friends.